One of These Days Your Gonna Love ME
by Fay-chan
Summary: A songfic about Hisoka sitting alone thinking about his parents. Not really as angsty as it could be I guess.


Okay I know that I shouldn't be starting another fic but its just a one shot and I really hit a writers block on my Ranma one. Anyway I thought that this song sounded a little like what Hisoka would be thinking about his family. There's really no mention of Muraki with this (sorry, I miss him too.) I just wanted this fic to be focused on how he felt about his mother and father, and what he feels about his new family.

**Disclamers: I do not own Yami No Matsuei. Well technically I own the DVD but what I mean to say is that I am not the creator and I don't own the actual anime itself….. Oh forget it you know what I mean.**

One of These Days Your Gonna Love Me.

Hisoka sat alone amongst the cherry blossom trees that surrounded the underworld known as Mefu and sighed. Today was just one of those days when he wanted to be left alone. It had been going so well to. Yesterday he had actually smiled as Tatsumi scolded Tsuzuki for going over the budget with extra dessert at meals. It had shocked everyone to see him smile. It had made him feel a bit uncomfortable. He understood why they were surprised at this. It just was so hard to smile on a regular basis with the life he had lived with his parents.

His parents now that was a subject he tended to avoid to think about but today it the memory seemed to flow unwillingly into his mind:

A young Hisoka sat alone, locked in his "room" as his parents called it. But to the small boy it was more like a cell.

'One of these days your gonna love me'

Try as he could, Hisoka couldn't figure out what he had done wrong. One minute he was happy, his parents would play with him and go on walks with him. They would tell him every night how much they loved him. He had always felt safe and loved.

_'You'll sit down by yourself and think'_

Then things began to change. He started to hear people talking when their lips weren't moving, and feeling things like anger and fear, but knowing somehow that they weren't his feelings. Then his parents found out about it and everything changed. They started calling him a monster and locked him up like some type of animal.

_'About the time you pushed and shoved me"_

It had begun to rain hard outside. There was thunder and lighting. The only light Hisoka had in his room was a candle that had burned out about an hour ago. It was dark, Hisoka didn't like the dark. 

A lighting bolt struck the tree next to his window. Hisoka ran to the door, frightened and began to bang on it.

_'And what good friends we might have been'_

Hisoka kept banging on the door screaming for somebody, anybody to let him out. He heard footsteps coming form down the hall. He sensed his father. Father was coming to save him. He'd come in and hold him just like he used to do telling him that it was okay. Then he would let him sleep in his and mothers bed. And they'll both hold him and tell him how much they love him just like they used to. He heard the door being unlocked, then the knob began to turn.

_'Then your gonna sigh a little'_

His father's anger hit him like a ton of bricks when the door opened. Hisoka began to back away. A hand struck his face hard knocking the small boy to the ground. A gruff "Keep quiet" were the only words spoken before the door shut again and was locked.

_'Maybe even cry a little'_

Hisoka held his face where his father struck him and stared at the closed door for a long time. Finally he dragged himself to a small corner in the room where there was a single blanket and wraped himself into a tight ball and let the tears begin to fall. 

"This must be what hell it like," he though before he drifted off to sleep.

_'One of these days your gonna love me'_

Hisoka was zapped out of his memory by Watari's voice behind him. He peeked from behind the cherry blossom tree. The eccentric scientist was following Tatsumi, begging him for more money.

Hisoka remembered when he had first met the genki scientist. It was after the first battle with Muraki [A/N: What do you know he does get a little bit mentioned in this fic.]. He'd woken up in the infirmary to find Watari bandaging his wounds. The man gave him a cheerful greeting before going back to his work.

Hisoka frowned. He never likes to infirmary. The blond shimigami tried to avoid going to it as much as possible, which wasn't easy considering how much they got hurt. It just reminded him too much of being in the hospital:

Hisoka had been in the hospital for almost three years now. He knew that it was hopeless, that he would not be getting any better. He Read it in all the doctors thoughts. He didn't care now anyway the only two people he had to live for abandoned him years ago.

_'One of these days your gonna love me'_

One of the nurses came in with a new trainee that had just joined.

"That's Kurosaki Hisoka's room," she said, "He's such a sad case. He's been here three years and has never had a single visitor, not even his parents."

He listened as they continued down the hall. "Thanks for the reminder," he thought to himself.

_'You'll sit down by yourself and think'_

He hated when the doctors tried to comfort him. They'd come in with their fake smiles plastered on their faces telling him that it would be only a matter of time before they found a cure for this 'disease'. But Hisoka could read their thoughts, he knew what they were really thinking. That it was only a matter of time before he was dead. Every time a doctor or nurse came near him he could feel their pity to the point that he'd have to send them out of the room because it was overwhelming him.

_'About the time you turned from me'_

He knew the illness was getting worse. He was so weak that he could barley move. He wished that it would all just end. The pain, the nightmares with a faceless enemy every night. He just wanted it all to stop.

_'And what good friends we might have been'_

Hisoka heard the doctor in the next room talking to someone about him. He was telling them that it wouldn't be long now, how he had to be lifted out of his bed for the examinations because he was so weak. Hisoka recognized one of the voices talking to the doctor, but he couldn't place it. There was a familiar feeling coming from that room, he strained trying to recognize the people in the room next to him. He gasped as it finally came to him. It was his parents.

_'Then your gonna sigh a little'_

They were standing just outside his door. He could sense them. Their feelings were so mixed. The fear of him was still there but there was something else, something he didn't recognize.

'Why don't they come in?' he thought. 'Please don't let them leave, don't let me die alone and unloved.'

_'Maybe even cry a little'_

He felt his mother and father turn away from the door and walk away from him down the hallway. Hisoka's heart ached. He couldn't take it any longer. A few lone teardrops slid down his cheek as Kurosaki Hisoka closed his eyes and slipped out of the world of the living.

_'One of these days your gonna love me'_

Hisoka wiped away a few tears that had fallen while he'd been thinking. 'There really had been no life for me on Earth,' he thought, 'only pain.'

"There you are," a voice from behind Hisoka called. He turned around and saw Tsuzuki running toward him.

"What's up?" Hisoka asked, "Do we have a new mission already?"

The brunet shook his head, "Don't you remember? You said that on our next day off you would go with me to that new western restaurant that just opened up."

Hisoka looked away, "I really don't feel like it right now."

"Please," Tsuzuki begged, "Its no fun to go to a new place alone."

Hisoka tried not to look at Tsuzuki, he knew that if he did then he would end up going to that restaurant with him. He peeked out of the corner of the eye. Those purple eyes were pleading. 

Hisoka sighed, " If Tatsumi gets mad at us then your taking the fall for this."

Tsuzuki's eye's lit up, he pounced on Hisoka, " Thank you!"

Sitting in the restaurant, Hisoka watched as Tsuzuki tried desperately to decide on what to eat as if it was a choice that would affect the entire world if he chose wrong. It was so hard to figure this guy out, Hisoka thought.

He was the first person to show any type of compassion to Hisoka. No matter how much he yelled at him, insulted him, or tried to push him away he was still there when Muraki kidnapped him. Knowing full well that it was a trap.

*Flashback*

"How? How can you care so much about at total stranger?

"Because you're my partner."

*End Flashback*

Tsuzuki looked up, "What? Do I have something on my face?"

Hisoka shook his head and closed his eyes, smiling as he listened to the music in the background.

_'One of these days I'm gonna love me_

I'll sit down by myself and think

One of these days I'll rise above me

Then at last I'll find some peace

Then I'm gonna smile a little

Maybe even laugh a little

One of these days I'm gonna love me….'

The End

Well what did you think? Its my first song fic so be gentle when you review me. By the way if you can't tell this fic takes place between Hisoka's first arriving and the Kyoto arc, I'm really not sure when. I decided to put them at a western restaurant at the end because I couldn't think of any other place where he would hear the song playing. I don't know if any of the shimigami are country fans. Anyway please review. I hope you all liked it. I'll be sure to finish my Ranma fic soon I promise. Bye!!!!


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